We all have that one friend or group of friends in our lives that we go to just to vent or share our new and exciting endeavors or relationships with. You’re not necessarily venting to them to get their input you just want to get some things off of your chest or you guys just simply need to catch up.
Do you ever find that after these vent/catch up sessions that you feel doubtful, unmotivated or just plain mentally drained? Are you no longer as happy or excited about your new ventures or relationships? Did your friend say some things that were low-key discouraging? Or maybe they simply didn’t exude the same energy as you about the situation. Either way they ended up giving you some unsolicited advice during this interaction that has you feeling some type of way.
Be very cautious of these types of interactions. What people think of us and the dreams or relationships we pursue is very important to a lot of us. Whether we realize it or not, how our friends and family react to the information we provide can ultimately determine whether or not we move forward with pursuing those dreams or entering/continuing those relationships.
I have been guilty of being that friend that has offered unsolicited advice when I should have just been happy for the individuals (totally fake), asked if they wanted my advice or simply just smiled and nodded. (lol) However, I wasn’t raised to not say what I’m thinking at that very moment or call people out on their bullshit, so I’ve rubbed some people the wrong way a lot and even lost friends. Looking back at those instances, I was 100% correct when it came to the advice I had provided, I was even very strategic with my verbiage and it only didn’t sit well with the receiving parties for 2 reasons;
-They knew I was right but they did not want to own that.
-They wanted to go through whatever they had to go through and figure it out for themselves.
Now, whether I was accurate or not,they did not ask me for my advice when they decided to share their endeavors or relationships with me.
We have to be able to recognize when someone just needs a listening ear and when someone needs our advice. Although most of us don’t give advice or express our opinions to be malicious; we need to be conscious and careful of the words we speak over our friend’s endeavors and relationships as we do our own because FIRST OF ALL, AINT NOBODY ASK YOU!